In memory of?

On my way back from lunch with a colleague recently, we came across these flowers strewn across the pavement in a long line, we both debated in how the flowers came to be there and came up with all sorts of theories, what are yours? 

Pride

I entered the dance hall part way through a tea dance with my children at Whitby Pavillion this afternoon.  The room was full, I glanced round for somewhere to sit when I saw a table with four seats and one with a white coat over the back of it.   I looked at the coat a number of times as it hung there and thought about who it might belong to as it was not clear whether it belonged to a man or a woman although I had guessed that it did belong to someone who had attended the dance on their own.  Later, a man appeared with a tray with a toasted teacake and a cup of tea and advised we had taken his place but said he was happy to share the table with us.  I felt a sense of sadness for this man as I observed he had   a sense of  heaviness about him as he observed others dancing, I wondered had he attended for many years with a partner and had now found himself on his own?  There was a sense of joy with others in the room as they danced, sat at their tables shared a joke and drinks, but this man was very much outside of that, as though he so much wanted the chance to be involved.  Now and again, he did dance with another partner but even then, it was like he was waiting for crumbs which had fallen from one of the tables as he awaited with eagerness for her partner to say it was ok for him to take this next dance. It was in those moments where I observed the man looked happy and upbeat for the duration of that dance almost as though a spotlight was on him until the dance was over and he reverted within himself, the quite observer.    

EXUBERANCE

I was out with my friend Helen and our children on Monday afternoon, its been some time since we all got together and the children were so happy to be enjoying each others company.  We did what the children call "the wooded walk" a great walk right round the corner from where I live.   That day, as the children were exploring, they came across a field which had been freshly mowed.  The children loved it and threw the hay around and it was a delight to see how free and happy they were, as they should be and in relishing the joy of play and laughter.  It was also a reminder that children do not need lots of expensive gadgets and the best fun can be found in the simplest things.

 I did not have my main camera with me that day, so used my I Phone to capture movement and have been very pleasantly surprised at the results.  The images remind me of film images which have been  double exposed as you can also see the impression of another image over layed, which further adds to the movement of the children.   The images appeal to me as they are a reminder of the need to be free have fun, enjoy and to have a greater appreciation of the everyday.

Family

I was shopping in Costco at the weekend when  I came across this family at the check out.  I have children also, and I tend to avoid doing a lot of shopping with them as to be honest, kids and shopping for me are not always the best experience.  I therefore tend to notice the families who have that stressed and exasperated look about them and for me this images does that with also a feeling of some tension and apathy we see in the way the man is slumped over the trolly and the woman appears to be protecting her child for any number of reasons, he could simply be just tired.  being in the store also made me think about the images that Martin Parr has taken in hyper markets of mainly familes and of the joys of shopping!

"We live in public"

I attended a screening last night at the Manchester Film Co-operative who meet on average once a month exploring various subject matters.  They tend to show a film and then discussions follow. Please see attached link for further events which might appeal to you http://www.manchesterfilm.coop/2011/06/19-july-we-live-in-public.html 

Last nights screening "We Live in Public - Ondi Timoner"  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrTgFphhNeo&has_verified=1 The film is all about Josh Harris, Founder of Jupiter Research, a team of programmers he headed in his promotion of online interactive projects which, in hind sight, were way ahead of the time.  He is also part of what was once termed as .com millionaires and amassed a considerable amount of wealth in the early 90's and ploughed his money back into his lavish on line experimental projects and lifestyle.  He is responsible for pseudo.com, which he later sold and "we live in public" - a huge Big Brother style project, inspired by the Trueman show, in which a virtual world was created with cameras all around 24 hours a day for the public to access, this was hosted in December 1999 and was wrapped up soon after the millenium after reports to the police that the operation was a cult.  Following on from this, he embarked on his own personal project in which the cameras were turned on to himself and his girlfriend in their apartment.  Similar to "we live in public" members of the public were able to log on at anytime and to also post comments and to see their every movement.  This project became the un doing of their relationship and he later claimed that she was just someone he hooked up with for the project, however, it was clear to see he was very much in love and perhaps its a pride thing to say otherwise, especially as his girlfriend was the only person he had allowed himself to open up and become close to.   

Josh's relationship had broken down with his Mum who was emotionally neglectful of her family and Josh's response to this, from being a child, was to lose himself in TV.  He was particularly into the programme "Gilligans Island" he imagined that the characters on this were his own family and the mother in it was the Mother he desired and indeed, Josh goes on to create an alter ego where he dresses in character known as Mr Lovley, inspired by the Mother in this programme.  He admitted that due to being lost in TV and having no emotional connection with his parents - he struggled to feel and show emotion, the virtual world of TV had become his family.  My view is that a lot of the projects that Josh embarked on was all about him putting himself of subjects in the spotlight and perhaps this is derived from his lack of emotional connection with his parents.  He also provoked the volunteers in the public experiment so I wonder was he trying to illicit a response from them that mirrored his own inner torment? 

 Josh lost his millions in the stock slump of the early 90's, he had a breakdown around this time and did turn to his family.  He found his Mum was unsupportive of him at this time and again he felt rejected and never saw her again, when she was on her death bed, she asked to see him.  Josh, however, felt he could not do so as by this time he readily admitted the only way he can communicate his feelings are in front of the camera and not in person.  He filmed a final greeting to him Mum and posted her a video.  

Having lost his wealth Josh now lives in Ethiopia where he states they are poor nation in monetary terms but rich in other ways, he is actively engaged with projects with the local community.  It is believed, however, that Josh will be back as he has done this before, had a breakdown, taken a lot of time out for  reflection and then has launched a new project.  I admire that he is a risk taker and fully believes in what he is doing and is very confident in the promotion of his work and of getting people on board.  He has suffered big set backs but has come back after a period of reflection.  We think we need to be busy all the time, unless thats just me, whereas periods of time out and of not thinking for a time is perhaps not a bad thing at all and gives a whole new fresh perspective.  The film also gives food for thought on just how adsorbed we have become in online communities such as myspace and facebook and where this is heading.

Come on Hayley!

The idea of me having a blog is to start keeping an audit trail of my activities relating to any events that I attend which are relevant to my practice.  So far, well, I am still not doing well at it!  I have had a lot of personal stuff going on so, to be honest, my last thought has been logging on to here.  That said, I am a lot better in myself and will start documenting very soon so please bear with me!  I have uploaded two Vids on to You Tube as I think its about time I got my work out to a wider audience and this is the link - Your views are appreciated http://www.youtube.com/user/conceptuallydriven  Hopefully, you will be able to get on the link.  Failing that, I will need to look at how to do it on here.  I am off to the Manchester Film co-operative tomorrow as there is an interesting talk on about surveylance and online identity, an area of interest to me, so I shall provide a summary regarding that. Goodbye for now.